Common Issues Couples Face in the First Year of Marriage

Congratulations to the newlyweds!

Wow, aren’t these words music to your ears? Many look forward to the day of their wedding. Seeing her walk down the aisle fills your heart with happiness. Finding the love of your life is one thing, and getting through the first year of marriage is another.

Marriage is more than just two people living together under the same roof. It is the emotional and spiritual union of two people who found a partner in each other. It is recognized both by law and by the bible alike.

Being a married couple brings not only changes but lessons and realizations as well. The days are over when texting her “Good morning” is the first thing you do waking up. This time, her lovely face that makes the sunshine less bright is the first thing you see.

While married life may bring you blissful days, it isn’t all about rainbows and clear skies. Issues resurface when you least expect, and it’s always better to be ready. Here are some important points for you.

Importance of the Early Years

A study by the University of Texas found that the first two years of marriage can predict long-term outcomes. The study concluded how couples happily married even after 13 years developed positive feelings towards their partner while in the early years of marriage.

As much as you can, make the early years of your marriage fruitful and happy to make your married life more successful in the long run.

Post-wedding Blues

Feeling exhausted from all the wedding planning is normal and getting overwhelmed by being married is, too. One of the issues that newly married couples face is the post-wedding blues.

Seeing all the excitement go down the drain after the wedding happens to many couples. Having no pre-wedding appointments to look forward to leaves you with feelings of withdrawal. And the time when almost everyone around was keen about you just passed like the blink of an eye. Yes, this is a reality that continues to exist.

Deal with this by focusing on your spouse. Be intimate. Make it a priority to keep the romance alive. While you may want to avoid topics that can stir arguments, doing so wouldn’t be helpful in any way.

Red Flags

Red flags are common relationship problems that test couples. Some successfully get through, but unfortunately, others don’t. Even for married couples, relationship issues can still exist. Below are some:

• lack of respect from a partner
• lack of interest in spending time together
• decrease in intimacy and sexual need
• sexual problems
• emotional, verbal, and physical abuse
• too much avoidance of confrontations
• overly dependent on parents
• impulsive spending

If you experience a tough time in your first year of marriage, couples therapy could be a good option. Such a resource does not depend on the amount of time you've been together.

Sometimes the day to day stresses of life can cause havoc in a relationship, especially if unchecked for a long time.

Budgeting and Finance as a Couple

Why is the first year of marriage the hardest? For married couples, the problem in money and finance comes first.

Where did the savings fund go? Were all the cash gifts used? Will joint banking work?

As a husband and wife, you share everything property-wise. Living up to “what’s mine is yours” isn’t easy, especially if one of you earns more. Not just this, but your spending habits are bound to change as well. Most couples will have joint accounts for their finances and share each other's student loan or credit card debts.

If there’s a need for you to discuss, sit down and talk. Dodging the subject isn’t going to help you. Be more open and set goals for what you want to achieve. Spending responsibly and avoiding impulsive buying are steps you can take.

Sharing Household Chores

The key to a happy marriage is a happy wife. It is wrong to think that only your wife has to do all the housework. You, as her husband, have responsibilities, too.

Husbands helping around the house isn’t the conventional way. However, wives are not fully entitled to everything seeing how a couple shares the house. That’s why it’s helpful for married couples to have a shared division of housework.

Doing this promotes equality and avoids one feeling inferior to the other.

Synchronizing Personal Schedules

Now that you’ve tied the knot, you are most likely to see your spouse from day to night. Some find this dragging and end up resenting their spouse in the process. This is why maintaining relationships outside of your marriage is important.

Meet your family and friends from time to time. Have dinner with colleagues or acquaintances with the knowledge of your partner. If the other feels ignored, inviting can help.

At the end of the day, balancing your time apart may be just what you need.

Extended Family and In-laws

Thinking about how to get through the first year of marriage without your in-laws involved gives you a hard time

In times of struggle, you and your wife are likely to approach your family for advice. Because of this, your in-laws may get a little more involved than they should be. When tensions arise, talk to your partner.

Remember that you are married to your spouse and not your in-laws. In decision-making, know that the final say should always come from you and your wife and not from them. As much as they’d want to help, it is your married life after all.

Bad Habits and Hygiene

“I had a hard time sleeping last night. You were snoring too much.”

“Didn’t I remind you to put the dirty clothes on the hamper right away?”

“Why do you always forget to switch off the bathroom light? Is it that hard?”

Words like these are normal for married couples. You can’t help but notice the bad habits of a spouse that you may find annoying.

Hygiene is another concern. Did she stop washing her face in the morning? Did all those nightly skincare routines end?

When these happen, be straightforward. Don’t pretend to like the things that you even don’t. Dishonesty is a foe, and it’s rather healthy to point out things your partner can improve.

A Beautiful Fiasco

The first year of marriage isn’t rocket science. From time to time you experience hardships. But what’s important is for you and your partner to withstand all that’s going to come your way.

You married her for love. You married her charm and her beliefs. You married her family. Most importantly, you married her.

Times may be rough for you, but don’t ever dwindle. With her, gain your strength. And with her, conquer your fears together.